I have found myself wondering about how life changes after your children leave home. It isn't easy to go through the empty nest syndrome. Sometimes I wonder how my children are doing. I don't get to see anymore the day to day events in their lives and hope that they are taking care of themselves. I wonder sometimes why boys go through such a strong cutting of the apron strings too. I am working on letting go and trying real hard to let my kids soar and take off in their lives like I always meant them to. It is challenging when all I have is the memory of the first step, the birthday cakes, the eagle scout projects and young women's projects and then the graduations. I watch my friends whose children live close and wonder how they can keep them so close to them. They tend their grandchildren and help out with little things on a day to day basis. Their lives with their children continue somewhat. And yet my heart tugs towards my children also. It isn't that I'm unhappy with they way things are going in their lives because I feel that each and every one of them is doing well in their own right, it is that I really miss the crayon drawings, the activity, the daily talks, and I miss their faces the most of all.
I had a choice this week that I had to make. You see for years I have wanted my own classroom as a teacher. The job offer finally came to teach this summer. I would have my own classroom and teach English to foreign exchange students at the college here. I turned the job down. The reason is that I want to spend the summer doing things with my children. There is nothing more important to me than the small glimpses of time that I have with them.
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