Pride

The story of David and Saul is one of loyalty, friendship, pride, and revenge. David is the hero of the story, while Saul quickly becomes the villain because of his pride. Pride has many forms. As I did my research in the subject of pride I found that C.S. Lewis has some good definitions in his book, "Mere Christianity". I read a book by Dallin Oaks called "Pure in Heart" in which one of his chapters is dedicated to pride. Another source is Ezra Taft Benson's talk "Beware of Pride". There is also the scripture in Proverbs 16:18 which states, "Pride goeth before destruction" and we also read "only by pride cometh contention" in Proverbs 13:10. Pride is elusive in its many forms and many times we do not realise that we have pride until after the fact.

Dallin Oaks separates the types of pride into three categories in his book "Pure in Heart":

1. The Appropriate Pride of Self-Respect

2. The Pride of Self-Satisfaction

3. The Pride of Comparison

The appropriate pride of self-respect has to do with a persons integrity. This is a 'good' form of pride in which those who have it do greater good in the world by acting a part of contributing to society by their actions. A person with this type of pride will take care of their hygiene, stay out of debt, educate themselves to take care of their needs and others needs, and then do an honest days work. This pride has everything to do with self-reliance.

Marion G. Romney said:
“That pride in a man which makes him cherish his own good name and gives him courage to work to sustain it, that pride which makes him shun the bondage of undischargeable obligations, that pride which keeps his head high even in poverty, conscious that he has always been honorable, and has given the best that was in him, that pride I admire. I think, too, it is essential for the preservation of some of the best things within our civilization. Self-respect, self-reliance, and the pride of achievement I look upon as highly prominent factors in our economic welfare, and in our spiritual as well.” (Where is Wisdom?, p. 412.)

The other types of pride are very selfish. Those who have the pride of self-satisfaction do not know it. In fact this pride is very pervasive in the society in which we live and has caused great economic problems. The pride of self-satisfaction causes large banks to fail, stocks to tumble, and housing markets to fall. It is a type of pride that will not care about the welfare of others, but takes everything away from those who have worked hard all their lives for the selfish wants of another's greed. A person who has this type of pride will refuse to be taught because they think they know it all. The person with the pride of self-satisfaction does not do something because they don't like a person in charge. I hear this over and over again with students in the schools. "I won't do the work because I don't like the teacher." The student diminishes their opportunity with this attitude. In fact this type of pride diminishes everyone and their opportunity for growth.

“A person who has the pride of self-satisfaction cannot repent, because he recognizes no shortcomings. He cannot be taught, because he recognizes no master. He cannot be helped, because he recognizes no resource greater than his own. This kind of pride has a self-image that has inflated from the wholesome positive to excessive preoccupied… Preoccupied with self, the pride of self-satisfaction is always accompanied by an aloofness and a withdrawal from concern for others.”

“This is the type of pride Alma meant when he told his son Shiblon: “See that ye are not lifted up unto pride; yea, see that ye do not boast in your own wisdom, nor of your much strength” (Alma 38:11). The consequences of the pride of self-satisfaction in Helaman’s time are described in these words: “And because of this their great wickedness, and their boastings in their own strength, they were left in their own strength; therefore they did not prosper, but were afflicted and smitten, and driven before the Lamanites, until they had lost possession of almost all their lands.” (Helaman 4:13).

"The pride of self-satisfaction is extremely difficult to overcome. As Spencer W. Kimball wrote: “When one becomes conscious of his great humility, he has already lost it. When one begins boasting of his humility, it has already become pride—the antithesis of humility.” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 233.)–Dallin Oaks, "Pure in Heart"

Another type of pride that Dallin Oaks describes is the pride of comparison. This is an extremely common type of pride because we live in a very competitive world. This type of pride is the seedbed of envy and will bring a person down fast. Saul had this type of pride when he heard the women singing in 1 Samuel 18:7 "And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands." When Saul heard these words of comparison he became jealous and angry. Ezra Taft Benson said:

“Saul became an enemy to David through pride. He was jealous because the crowds of Israelite women were singing that ‘Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands’ (1 Samuel 18:7; see also 1 Samuel 18:6, 8). “The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. …‘What will men think of me?’ weighs heavier than ‘What will God think of me?’ …“Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. The proud love ‘the praise of men more than the praise of God’ (John 12:42–43). Our motives for the things we do are where the sin is manifest. Jesus said He did ‘always those things’ that pleased God (John 8:29). Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive rather than to try to elevate ourselves above our brother and outdo another?

“Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s. Their reward is being a cut above the rest. …  

“When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God, and the proud let go of the iron rod” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 4–5; or Ensign, May 1989, 5).

“The pride of comparison is not just a high opinion of one’s own qualities or attainments, or the “inordinate self-esteem” described in the dictionary. It is an attitude that commences with personal comparisons with others and leads to demeaning thoughts or oppressive actions directed at other sons and daughters of God” Dallin Oaks, Pure In Heart, p. 95.

“Pride does not look up to God and care about what is right. It looks sideways to man and argues who is right. Pride is manifest in the spirit of contention” Cleansing the Inner Vessel, Ensign, May 1986, p. 6.

C.S. Lewis wrote: “Pride is essentially competitive…Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more if it than the next man…It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest.”

C.S. Lewis called pride the “utmost evil” and “the complete anti-God state of mind,” because this kind of comparison leads men to enmity and oppression and every other kind of evil. This insightful Christian saw that every person should look up to God as “immeasurably superior” to him or her.

Lewis continued: “Unless you know God as that—and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison—you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you. (Mere Christianity, pp 109-11).–Dallin Oaks, Pure in Heart, p. 96.

Saul tried to kill David three times and twice his friends intervened for him. Jonathan and Michal Saul's children were loyal friends to David and saved his life. Another time Saul sent David to battle in the hope that he would be killed and David's life was spared.

The touching promise that David and Jonathan made to each other was a sacred covenant of friendship when they said, "The Lord be between me and thee forever." 1 Samuel 20:23. This shows a deep and abiding love for a friend. There is loyalty, love, and devotion to the other. I wonder what type of friends can we be if we get rid of pride and find the opposite of enmity which is love?